tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85014685936433780912024-03-06T01:20:18.257-05:00Brightfish's FamilyShameless Journaling by a Proud Mom and WifeBrightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.comBlogger275125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-38494562488526333942016-12-26T16:16:00.001-05:002016-12-26T16:16:33.158-05:00My Boys Are Kicking Me Out. Yay!!My husband pulled off one of the biggest and kindest surprises of our entire 25 year relationship!<br />
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In the midst of all of our family gathered around the tree exchanging gifts, Scott and Sam handed me a package. I slowly peeled back the paper and found a gift basket inside. I was confused by the note.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYPbe0uGbK0r9zjxCnGtt8C8iRPJwTYCrcrenqnkrdM82eEqiYK_rqTXYl8a9HNuxPQ15Bby23hzbVlRyHh80O3OuJ0Ozk4YyOTkcY8bOaqZvYCsDuBx8dR6WXlByszDuSQkiUjuAXOaQ/s1600/IMG_0059.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYPbe0uGbK0r9zjxCnGtt8C8iRPJwTYCrcrenqnkrdM82eEqiYK_rqTXYl8a9HNuxPQ15Bby23hzbVlRyHh80O3OuJ0Ozk4YyOTkcY8bOaqZvYCsDuBx8dR6WXlByszDuSQkiUjuAXOaQ/s320/IMG_0059.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I explored the goodies in the basket and found a gift card for a nice dinner, a gift card for a pedicure, a new pair of my favorite slippers, a book, a bottle of one of my favorite wines, and a receipt for a hotel room with a jacuzzi.<br />
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As I looked at my boys, still a little confused, they explained that I would be going by myself.<br />
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BY MYSELF. Did you get that? Do you understand what that means? <br />
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You see, Ella turns 2 on January 7th. She has been a horrible sleeper, with uninterrupted nights being few and far between. And I stay exhausted. But on January 2, a day after I turn 44 (gasp!), my boys are sending me away to be by myself.<br />
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To rest. To read. To relax. To recharge.<br />
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To be me. Not a mama. Not a wife. Just me.<br />
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I'm getting a little teary eyed right now just thinking about it.<br />
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This is just something I would never do for myself. My boys will have their hands full taking care of Ella, putting her to bed (I hope she stays asleep!) and getting ready for school the next morning. So I appreciate and am forever grateful for their sacrifices to make this amazing experience happen!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3ZW-YpJMqwzWf_fbgzZxlJKSUTRN1ifxjY36gVyRFj5W_06BgnCMRHL265DE5Vsygp4iT_F96oAvrE9rhKbQpgfePtf8ivufJvQOpRji5fZT7m_grGGHdSgPmW-ELB2sCbqoVYrjTQxg/s1600/IMG_0060.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3ZW-YpJMqwzWf_fbgzZxlJKSUTRN1ifxjY36gVyRFj5W_06BgnCMRHL265DE5Vsygp4iT_F96oAvrE9rhKbQpgfePtf8ivufJvQOpRji5fZT7m_grGGHdSgPmW-ELB2sCbqoVYrjTQxg/s320/IMG_0060.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, here's my prediction. While I am soaking in the blissfulness of being alone for about 30 hours and master of my time, I think I'll be miserable if my boys are not constantly texting me and sending me pictures of all that I'm missing.Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-35029716896745218732014-11-20T06:02:00.000-05:002014-11-20T06:02:04.883-05:00This is Exactly Why I Quit Sleeping in the NudeWell! It's about 5 o'clock in the morning and it has already been a long day!<br />
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Scott left for Indiana yesterday so Sam and I got to snuggle together in my bed last night. I was thrilled to be able to go to bed very early! I was not so thrilled to be ripped from my slumber at 2:30 by my alarm disarming itself.<br />
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I immediately jumped up and grabbed the remote to turn the alarm off because my first thought was that one of the dogs had gotten out of her kennel again. That's happened before when the latch didn't quite catch. But then I realized that the alarm had not actually gone off as if it had detected one of the dogs walking around. Rather, it had actually been beeping as it does when we come home and open the door.<br />
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Great. Someone is in the house and I turned the flippin' alarm off. I waited just a second and tried to turn it back on with the remote. Not a chance. The door was still open. I really wasn't sure what to do.<br />
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I tiptoed to the top of the stairs and listened for a long time. I heard the slightest little noise. I was convinced someone was in the house. I pictured him standing as still as I was waiting to see what was going to happen. So here I am, standing at the top of the stairs, wondering exactly what I was expecting me and my big 'ole pregnant belly to do. I hesitated to push the silent alarm button on the remote because that would trigger the alarm company calling Scott in Indiana. I can't even imagine how freaked out he'd be waking up to take THAT call! So I tiptoed back to my room, closed and locked both doors and called 911.<br />
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The dispatcher asked if I had access to a weapon. I told him I thought I had a golf club close at hand and I guess I could beat the crap out of someone if needed. But I couldn't find it anywhere. The only thing I could find was a marimba bar. I wasn't even about to try to explain this to the dispatcher. I just told him I had something I could use. Then I stood in the middle of my room rolling my eyes at how ridiculous I must look armed with a marimba bar.<br />
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An officer showed up very quickly (good to know). I could see a flashlight shining all around the yard. At this point, Sam woke up. I was trying not to alarm him, trying to figure out what to say. Luckily, he didn't seem upset at all when I told him everything was okay and I would tell him what was going on in just a minute. It was also at this point that I realized I could have unleashed the hounds and they would have told me if someone was downstairs or not.<br />
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The dispatcher told me that all was clear and I could go downstairs to meet the officer. I let him in and asked him to check around inside. It was then that I realized I was only wearing my tank top and underwear. Oh well. Not really a priority as I led him around the downstairs searching for the intruder.<br />
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Of course, there was no intruder. Thank God!!! It turns out the door to the garage, the very door I was sure I had locked, had somehow opened just a little. The officer and I were confident that no one had opened it and that the house and garage were clear.<br />
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So I went back to bed and drifted back to sleep quickly.<br />
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Pfft! In my dreams! First of all, try turning my ADD brain off anytime I'm woken up during the night. Secondly, I had not been back in bed ten minutes before I hear Sam whisper "Mom, please get me the wastebasket." Nothing happened and he had no fever. Whew! Perhaps I'll get back to sleep after all!<br />
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But once the the excitement was over and I was snuggled back under my blankets, all I could think about was how dirty my house was and what the officer must have been thinking and how I was glad I had quit sleeping naked once Sam was born and how much school work I could probably get done if I got up now...<br />
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So, yeah. it's been a long day.Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-91771689788244612972013-04-21T14:04:00.000-04:002013-04-21T14:24:46.950-04:00Birthdays and Blooms<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today is Sam's 7th birthday.</div>
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I still marvel at the fact that God blessed us with this amazing child. I don't get sad anymore that another year has passed or that he's growing up too fast (even though he is!) because now I look forward to how much cooler he'll be this year. Every year just seems to get better and better!</div>
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Today was also the day that Adam was going to be joining us. </div>
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Not only was he due today, but my amazing OB was going to make an exception to the no surgery on Sunday policy and perform my c-section so that we could deliver Adam on Sam's birthday. That's what Sam wanted.</div>
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So, in honor of my boys, and thanks to several special friends, we are planting three trees today. </div>
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My college roommate sent me a beautiful Magnolia tree that arrived on my doorstep about a week ago.</div>
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A group of special teachers that I work with gave us a giftcard to a local nursery. We decided to buy a Dogwood tree hoping it would be in bloom around the boys' special day.</div>
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And Scott and I decided to honor Sam buy also planting a Dogwood tree, just like Adam's.</div>
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I've kept an eye on Adam's tree, looking for signs of the first blooms. And what do you know! In God's always most perfect timing, today I found these:</div>
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<br />Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-23601064605055449192012-12-31T14:37:00.000-05:002012-12-31T14:37:39.294-05:00Partial ReleaseI haven't cried since last Thursday morning when we confirmed that Adam's mighty heart had indeed stopped beating. And that was but a brief cry before being admitted into labor and delivery.<br />
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About 30 minutes ago, Scott came to me and told me that Sam had just taken our memory bag upstairs. He overheard Sam take Adam's tiny hat and tiny diaper that I made out of the bag and tell his buddy "I can't believe my mom did all that and the baby still died."</div>
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And I cried. </div>
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I cried for my son. I cried for all the pain that he doesn't understand nor know how to process.</div>
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I cried just a little so I could be strong for him.</div>
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And about 15 minutes ago, the funeral home delivered Adam's ashes. Scott, Sam and I were given two little boxes. </div>
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The funeral home gave us a plain white box with ashes that we'll scatter into the ocean when we return to Topsail Island this summer. Topsail Island...where this journey began. Topsail Island...that was my husband's beautiful, perfect idea. </div>
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We were also given a sweet little urn with a small amount of ashes especially for Sam. When I explained to Sam about cremation and our plans, he asked if he could keep just a small bit of the baby's ashes. </div>
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I'm telling you, that child has always been wiser beyond his years.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TgVc5WHPqIfJerIIhiBfIGRDRRCpF5mhEiVHaxgnGBMj57PX8IS7ci9UX6qQAzyFT1Pv5dsjNpUa3PWGfQo7XE-dqz9qSlK4nN5HyOt2KD9q39kcSlyRk6p72nbBK_0sIXQkG9Ya_DI/s1600/ashes.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TgVc5WHPqIfJerIIhiBfIGRDRRCpF5mhEiVHaxgnGBMj57PX8IS7ci9UX6qQAzyFT1Pv5dsjNpUa3PWGfQo7XE-dqz9qSlK4nN5HyOt2KD9q39kcSlyRk6p72nbBK_0sIXQkG9Ya_DI/s320/ashes.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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As we finished up with the funeral director, Sam asked to see the ashes. We opened up the white box and pulled out a little bag filled with all that is left of my beautiful baby boy. Well, all except Sam's small token. Sam regarded the bag for just a moment and then slowly walked away without a word.</div>
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And again I cried.</div>
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But this time I cried for me. </div>
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All I've been thinking about as I've looked at Adam's pictures over the last few days is one, heartbreaking thing. For as long as I held him and talked to him and tried to lock in every last detail so as not to be forgotten, I wish I had held him longer. He was beautiful. He was peaceful. He was mine. He had the cutest little lip hiding the sweetest little tongue. I couldn't stop smiling and marveling at my child and loving him and telling him all about his family and thanking him for watching over us as he walked with God. And it took every fiber of strength I had to pass him back to the loving arms of the nurse.</div>
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Letting go of him was hard because I knew the next time I'd see him, it would be in a little white box. </div>
Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-66504500274459196612012-12-17T10:58:00.002-05:002012-12-17T10:58:28.422-05:00Sam's First Piano Recital<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHhB8mgOuv2QxxmqfWwnqTB8mBgm8rKvqbOmymBwcVgux2do74pUPD8qMF8469RSG89uAHtmtntNzNY8DltE9pAsOi-IF5WE9c01_Nd1yixc3JL3Hcjq6aR1oHxv-JxsqkdJakTbxVqo/s1600/family+at+recital.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHhB8mgOuv2QxxmqfWwnqTB8mBgm8rKvqbOmymBwcVgux2do74pUPD8qMF8469RSG89uAHtmtntNzNY8DltE9pAsOi-IF5WE9c01_Nd1yixc3JL3Hcjq6aR1oHxv-JxsqkdJakTbxVqo/s1600/family+at+recital.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yesterday was Sam's very first piano recital! And I had no idea how exciting the day would be! On Saturday we went shopping for a new outfit and I swear he looked just like Scott when he was all dressed up and ready to play! He just took my breath away!</div>
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And for our families, and anyone else interested, here's the short video:</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IlRmBG9S4UI" width="640"></iframe><br /></div>
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<br />Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-79787429391816951942012-12-12T11:33:00.000-05:002012-12-12T11:33:10.316-05:00Praying for a Miracle TodayToday is the day we've anticipated for a very long time. Today was supposed to be our first ultrasound since finding out we were pregnant. Today was supposed to be the day that Sam joined us as we found out the sex of the baby. Today was just supposed to be normal.<br />
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And I am fighting like crazy to make this day everything we wanted it to be and everything Sam has looked forward to.<br />
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Because this is Sam's baby.<br />
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This is the baby he has prayed for. While Scott and I had become content with our family of three, the only tears I ever shed were when Sam would be sad about not having his own brother or sister, his own "always home and ready to play" friend. That's when I cried. And Sam just kept on praying. So we've joked all along that this was his baby, that he got me into this wonderfully surprising condition through all his prayers and his heart's desire.<br />
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I'm also praying desperately and humbly for a miracle.<br />
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I'm pretty sure that both of my doctors did not think we'd make it to this day. But my little fighting angel has sure showed them! And come what may after today, at least we made it this far.<br />
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While I am also preparing myself for what seems inevitable, I can't help but hold onto faith and the fact that God has blessed me with a life beyond anything I'd ever imagined. Surely he can bestow one more blessing upon me. Before two weeks ago, I've always refused to ask God for anything for myself. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I pray for strength and serenity and I pray for friends and have no problems asking for specific things for them. Just not for myself. But in the last two weeks, I have prayed and begged for a miracle that only He can deliver. I have prayed for the life of my child.<br />
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Nothing would make me happier than to walk out of today's ultrasound with some small bit of evidence that things were improving. <br />
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So, in a few hours we shall see.Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-64431043628675750252012-12-03T17:30:00.002-05:002012-12-03T17:48:15.904-05:00The Post I Wish Were Not True<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I used to blog all the time. And I LOVE writing and recording our lives here. But sometimes life gets in the way and I drop out for a while. I've been so completely exhausted with this pregnancy that I have hardly been at my computer, much less taken the time to document this most special event.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">And of all the times I neglected writing and all the events I've neglected recording, I will forever most regret not recording the last few months.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">For those closest to me, I offer sincere apologies that you may be hearing our news here. I simply cannot endure having to say some things over and over.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">
Tuesday, Scott and I had a regular OB appointment and Dave surprised us by
pulling the ultrasound machine in the room so we could find out the
baby's gender. He was immediately concerned and quickly sent us to another
room for a more advanced ultrasound. There were some serious concerns
about what we could see and he got the specialist to rush us in first
thing Wednesday morning for an even more advanced ultrasound and a possible amniocentesis.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Basically, the baby is filled with too much
fluid. It probably started as two big cysts at his/her neck and has
just spread from there. Everything structurally looked perfect but he
(?) also has extensive edema. My precious baby is incredibly swollen. In the
next few weeks, his perfect little heart will not be able to pump
against the pressure of the fluid and he'll pass away. I'll then be
induced and will deliver.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">But for now, we wait. And pray. And hope for a miracle. </span></div>
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We are of course heartbroken. I am only surviving because I know that God
has a reason for making this a part of our journey. I'm not sure what
the reason is yet, but I have faith that one day we'll understand it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Within a day or two I will post more about my feelings and how we are all processing this news. </span></div>
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Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-61274672985226461302012-10-08T12:14:00.000-04:002012-10-10T17:56:26.792-04:00Two Miracles in One Week<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This is Part 1 of our story. <br />
Coming soon: Part 2--This is Sam's Baby </blockquote>
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I have to agree with a friend of mine who told me "I truly believe that the Lord loves to bless us with something extra special AFTER we come to a place of contentment with the current place he has us."</div>
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Either that, or God has proven to me that he has a sense of humor.</div>
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Here's the short version:</div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>2000</b>--We started trying to get pregnant. Actually formed one of those pregnancy pacts with two of my girlfriends!</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>2002-04</b>--Three, possibly 4, miscarriages and 1 D&C led us to a fertility specialist.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>2006-</b>-Our first, very successful IVF attempt blessed us with Sam!</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>2010-11</b>--A failed frozen embryo transfer and a failed IVF attempt maxed out our insurance benefits.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>August 2, 2012</b>--While at the beach on vacation, we celebrated 15 years of marriage with Lomi Lomi massages among other special gifts.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>August 15, 2012</b>--Accepting that we'll simply never need all that space, we finally downsize our minivan and trade it in for the CR-V</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>August 18, 2012</b>--After taking three pregnancy tests, I finally accept that I am indeed pregnant.</li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYz6kQkhLKNcXELF2YHjRzcMI9nAgBwfiqy9dViN5eCAXfwJFQjrQrcfcp66OTn_E-sirLbkEzR19XyiKC8H0kQEWFXPgkMHaqTkRb_HWeySw5Tl8ZSb1Nb9CJKr6ZLtxRQT2uTmAL-Bw/s1600/IMG_4974.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYz6kQkhLKNcXELF2YHjRzcMI9nAgBwfiqy9dViN5eCAXfwJFQjrQrcfcp66OTn_E-sirLbkEzR19XyiKC8H0kQEWFXPgkMHaqTkRb_HWeySw5Tl8ZSb1Nb9CJKr6ZLtxRQT2uTmAL-Bw/s320/IMG_4974.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Yes, after reaching a state of pure contentment with our lives, we have indeed been blessed with our own little bundle of surprise! Or, as we like to call it, the anniversary gift that keeps on giving!</div>
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But the miracles didn't stop with us getting pregnant! A week after finding out, I had an ultrasound--early, at a day short of 6 weeks, but warranted given my history. My blood work had been so strong all week, that we were all expecting to see a heartbeat. What we found was an empty sac. Nothing whatsoever was there. No baby, no heartbeat. Another ultrasound was scheduled for 5 days later to confirm that the pregnancy wasn't viable.</div>
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I wasn't surprised at all. I had prepared myself for bad news. Those who've had miscarriages know the feeling. But it's funny. Scott spent the 5 days preparing for the worst news, accepting that it wasn't meant to be. But as each day came and went, I grew more hopeful. And I can't explain why.</div>
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It is hard to describe the feeling I had as soon as the ultrasound image appeared and you could clearly see our baby with the strongest little heartbeat! Not only that, but the measurements aged the baby perfect for our timeline at 6 1/2 weeks!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmMuiFBVpdS7ajOV7H5EMg1DAP4y0ZbMPwc6B9EKPEA1dG_WLN6RUTl5psabgvhn_0JiSSHl0Qxg4_s0NfhSfzOYVYIDT51TWO6pxcfIIhBykMDurLAJaGBfLys4ldG7O_qEfA8mAwKSk/s1600/IMG_5061.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmMuiFBVpdS7ajOV7H5EMg1DAP4y0ZbMPwc6B9EKPEA1dG_WLN6RUTl5psabgvhn_0JiSSHl0Qxg4_s0NfhSfzOYVYIDT51TWO6pxcfIIhBykMDurLAJaGBfLys4ldG7O_qEfA8mAwKSk/s320/IMG_5061.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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We sat in Dr. D's office and prayed and cried! He had no medical explanation for what happened and had already prepared himself to have a very different conversation with us. Dr. D is one of our very best friends so emotions were heightened all around and it was simply a beautiful day!</div>
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So, here we are at 12 weeks! Scott and I went to hear the baby's heartbeat this morning and are now shouting our news from the rooftop! </div>
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I can't wait to write about Sam and the pregnancy so far, but for now, we're just celebrating our two miracles!!</div>
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Oh! I almost forgot! The baby is due on April 21, 2013--Sam's 7th birthday!!! </div>
<br />Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-52076398997915742312012-04-08T14:14:00.001-04:002012-04-08T14:14:30.343-04:00I Hate the Easter Bunny<p align="justify">I have a really hard time wrapping my head around the whole Easter Bunny concept.  I just don’t get what exactly the Easter Bunny has to do with this most significant day.  And I’ve worried this year because Sam has totally noticed all the Easter Bunny Hoopla  and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the situation.  I just can’t bring myself to perpetuate the Easter Bunny myth but I wanted him to have an Easter Basket.  Thankfully, a conversation with a very special friend guided me in the right direction. Forevermore, Sam will know that his Mama and Daddy give him an Easter basket because we love him, just as God loved us and gave us his son. Whew! Finally I have peace in my heart about how to handle the commercial side of Easter.  As for the EB, he’s a great character that ushers in Spring and Easter. That’s it!</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-FWutpGwYmLw/T4HVXHxHxMI/AAAAAAAACuk/xZmxo1v1gvo/s1600-h/EB%252520funny%2525202%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="EB funny 2" border="0" alt="EB funny 2" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-BEHAVL10E8I/T4HVX4X5iPI/AAAAAAAACus/B1mPeTAwurs/EB%252520funny%2525202_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="257" height="233" /></a></p> <p align="justify">I love spending Easter with Sam.  We have our traditions and it’s the day I feel like I do the best job of teaching him about God. Today was probably my favorite Easter yet.  </p> <p align="justify">Last night, Scott and I prepared Sam’s Easter basket.  This was my favorite basket of all time!  I went with a pirate and shark theme. </p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-hta5AL9CFT8/T4HVYZ-IQUI/AAAAAAAACu0/Mgd_2wje1DI/s1600-h/IMG_4834%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_4834" border="0" alt="IMG_4834" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-wIFaOW2Shvc/T4HVZIX564I/AAAAAAAACu8/PrpLyqWbB7c/IMG_4834_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="276" height="367" /></a></p> <p align="justify">Sam brought the basket to our bed early this morning and he was so excited! It was fun watching him pull out all the fun things I had collected for him. I carefully chose a card that I knew Sam would be able to read and was still amazed by how easily he read it!   I wish I could convince him of what a great reader he is!</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-vDmfGDFoTFA/T4HVZ5c0f8I/AAAAAAAACvE/ckb7fxyTP7c/s1600-h/Easter%2525202012%252520card%2525201%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Easter 2012 card 1" border="0" alt="Easter 2012 card 1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-6O3_7_rJ8ScQ0yfu8lxyPfgBSLrcc9nZONORRjFH7fN7rkEZ8L0rLGycLjCQ9ghMqxb7_j73iFisma7rWlHVQdt3369bg7O4xFZf1Rx-CCrhl2JesvaY7z0UUbj_YOSWlilqb2Rt7kc/?imgmax=800" width="220" height="331" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-XEwHPN82PiA/T4HVayvGTZI/AAAAAAAACvU/7Mu7UhJFwFk/s1600-h/Easter%2525202012%252520card%2525202%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Easter 2012 card 2" border="0" alt="Easter 2012 card 2" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-auRDGqO97bQ/T4HVbSbt4wI/AAAAAAAACvc/kJQFdliCPT0/Easter%2525202012%252520card%2525202_thumb%25255B6%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="218" height="330" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-rxddJQqBwXA/T4HVcJYVefI/AAAAAAAACvk/kcmC65-txxI/s1600-h/Easter%2525202012%252520card%2525203%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Easter 2012 card 3" border="0" alt="Easter 2012 card 3" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-oljMVI18a8o/T4HVc4SLttI/AAAAAAAACvs/4rgdLfvAcU4/Easter%2525202012%252520card%2525203_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="220" height="331" /></a></p> <p align="justify">Within a few minutes, Sam abandoned our bed and his basket. We got up for the day and Sam came back, asking for a gift box.  “Sure, buddy, watcha doin?”  “I’m making something for you and Daddy.”  A few minutes later, he brought us a gift bag with an envelope attached.  “It’s something for you to decorate your room for Easter.” </p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-yTaoXGzH3Mc/T4HVdwscf7I/AAAAAAAACv0/UZc--BDBQUU/s1600-h/Easter%2525202012-1%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Easter 2012-1" border="0" alt="Easter 2012-1" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-28B_H8OGEd4/T4HVfagttZI/AAAAAAAACv8/OGNKw7uHm94/Easter%2525202012-1_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="177" height="260" /></a> </p> <p align="justify">The little egg he made us was precious, but it was the note he wrote that pushed me over the edge.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-XGj67C3fvTk/T4HVgQ0IdcI/AAAAAAAACwE/5XGJNpYHLNg/s1600-h/Easter%2525202012%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Easter 2012" border="0" alt="Easter 2012" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-TsuxiR0YBbc/T4HVg1yCb0I/AAAAAAAACwM/fsmV6Ym3pHU/Easter%2525202012_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="359" height="788" /></a></p> <p align="justify">That kid never ceases to amaze me! He genuinely felt the spirit of giving and my heart could almost burst with love for him!</p> <p align="justify"></p> <p align="justify"></p> <p align="justify"></p> <p align="justify"></p> <p align="justify"></p> <p align="justify">Sigh.</p> <p align="justify">Scott was up and out of the house soon after that to play for an Easter Service and Sam and I got busy in the kitchen!  We make “Jesus Cookies” every year.  <a href="http://brightfishfamily.blogspot.com/2010/04/hes-not-in-there.html" target="_blank">(Read about our Resurrection Rolls here)</a>  While they were baking, Sam and I sat outside reading his Easter story books and talking about all things Easter.</p> <p align="justify">I don’t think I’ll soon forget this Easter and how I conquered the Easter Bunny  nor will I foget the look of love in Sam’s face while Daddy and I read his note and opened his gift.</p> <p align="justify">Happy Easter everyone!</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-32934817476053611982011-09-26T18:21:00.000-04:002011-09-26T18:21:44.713-04:00We're Having a Yard Sale For a Good Reason!I'm having a yard sale this weekend...we're moving!!! More details to come soon. For now, I'm going to advertise for a yard sale website I'm using so I can get a free upgrade!<br />
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Find more <a href="http://www.yardsalesearch.com/garage-sales-west-columbia-sc.html">garage sales in West Columbia</a> on<a href="http://www.yardsalesearch.com/">Yard Sale Search</a>.
Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-61926208282168782822011-06-28T15:49:00.000-04:002011-06-28T15:49:25.002-04:00Our Little Fish<div style="text-align: justify;">A week ago, Sam would not even put his face in the water, much less leave the side of the swimming pool. Then, I introduced him to Ms. Laverne, a.k.a. The Swim Whisperer. Watching Sam be transformed so quickly was amazing! His lessons ended on Friday and Scott came home from Texas the next day. Sam was able to show off his new skills on Sunday and I think he really knocked Scott's socks off!! Take a look!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CDz1NmemnRU?hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CDz1NmemnRU?hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div>Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-2766192738502836292011-06-20T22:33:00.001-04:002011-06-20T22:33:00.731-04:00Beating the Heat<p>Sam and I have totally figured out how we’ll survive the 300 degree temperatures this week.  I’ll be sitting on the deck, under the tailgating tent with my feet in the pool and a book in my hand. </p> <p>Sam, on the other hand, has his own strategy.</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-G2xsLo17-9w/TgACuHS2XHI/AAAAAAAACfQ/LdDaJwvVx6I/s1600-h/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share" border="0" alt="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-QnANo2qVUg8/TgACvEoBSYI/AAAAAAAACfU/pp71Ju-6Kig/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="644" height="404" /></a></p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-L4gqMk1tPkQ/TgACx__NsKI/AAAAAAAACfY/OC7rsATpWpE/s1600-h/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share%252520for%252520collage%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share for collage" border="0" alt="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share for collage" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ycHwKrr3vsY/TgACzKOa03I/AAAAAAAACfc/d91rKqqTCVI/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share%252520for%252520collage_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="625" height="484" /></a></p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-h_T1BMOntZY/TgAC1sURvWI/AAAAAAAACfg/wC08AHzm7C0/s1600-h/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share%252520for%252520collage1%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share for collage1" border="0" alt="fun in the heatwave june 20 2011 favs to share for collage1" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Oaaa5aobhjs/TgAC25Uka2I/AAAAAAAACfk/f10ymsVNl-I/fun%252520in%252520the%252520heatwave%252520june%25252020%2525202011%252520favs%252520to%252520share%252520for%252520collage1_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="625" height="484" /></a></p> <p align="left">We had so much fun taking these pictures!  My favorite part…each time Sam wanted to move the sprinkler he would call out “Mama, kinkle the sprinkle!”</p> <p align="left">I actually think we’ll survive the heat this week!</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-53970132877638616742011-04-21T09:55:00.001-04:002011-04-21T09:55:39.327-04:00Cinco de Sam<p align="justify">Oh, happy day!  Today my child, my monkeydoodle, my love turns 5!  We don’t have a lot planned for today.  Sam and I are going toy shopping this morning and will go on a pizza date for lunch.  Tonight we’re going to dinner with Nathan, one of Sam’s best friends.  (Oh, I just realized how appropriate it is that we’re having dinner with Nathan and his Mom and Dad since his dad delivered Sam 5 years ago today!) After dinner, we’ll come back home for cake and just a few small presents.  I had to make the cake myself because the store was out of Spider-man decorations for the cake Sam wanted.  I don’t think I did too bad but most importantly, Sam loved it! We decided to sing and blow out the candles this morning before Daddy left for work.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TbA3TsiIkxI/AAAAAAAACYQ/u1RZrLiHN3k/s1600-h/Sam%27s%205th%20birthday%204%2021%2011%20to%20trash%20after%20blog%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Sam's 5th birthday 4 21 11 to trash after blog" border="0" alt="Sam's 5th birthday 4 21 11 to trash after blog" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TbA3UZGu8TI/AAAAAAAACYU/vPXZQrxjkKE/Sam%27s%205th%20birthday%204%2021%2011%20to%20trash%20after%20blog_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="644" height="404" /></a></p> <p align="justify">Sam will be having a huge carnival in a few weeks to celebrate with all his friends. The invitations went out last week.  We are getting so excited!</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TbA3ViatcFI/AAAAAAAACYY/00MmM4XS8lc/s1600-h/Sam%27s%20Invite%20for%20blog%5B11%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Sam's invite for blog" border="0" alt="Sam's invite for blog" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TbA3WvE5C5I/AAAAAAAACYc/GnNCq8DJF9U/Sam%27s%20Invite%20for%20blog_thumb%5B5%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="670" height="294" /></a></p> <p align="justify"><em>Dear Sam,</em></p> <p align="justify"><em>Happy 5th birthday, Monkeydoodle!  You are truly the coolest kid I know!  Daddy and I are enjoying you so much right now because you have a “knock ‘em dead” sense of humor and an imagination that never stops.  </em></p> <p align="justify"><em>You are such a curious and eager learner right now.  You are reading and writing and it amazes even me how you can play with words and sounds in your head without even seeing the letters.  And as good as you are with reading and writing, you are really good at math!  We are so proud of you and how much you love school.  Mama’s dream will come true in a few months when you get to start Kindergarten at Mama’s school!</em></p> <p align="justify"><em>You are really into Legos, Spider-man, Scooby-Doo and poop right now.  You and Nathan both, all poop all the time.  That’s how I knew you were feeling better last week. You started singing about poop again.  Oh, you are such a boy!!  It is fun to watch you play with your toys and build Legos with you.  You build some incredible things!  And what your imagination can do with a stick and a piece of cardboard is amazing!  Don’t ever stop being so creative!</em></p> <p align="justify"><em>Mama loves you most in the mornings when I snuggle with you to wake you up and at night when I read you to sleep.  I love you most when you are writing with me and when you are swinging on your swing like Superman.  I love you most when we are playing Star Wars Wii and when we are singing and dancing in the car. You are loving the songs “Forget You” and “Dynamite” right now.  We turn them up really loud and play them over and over again dancing our way down the road!  I love you the most when you tackle me and when you say things like “Mom, you’re breaking my heart” when I won’t let you do something.  I love you the most when you are running around the house in your underwear and when you are playing in the sprinklers. I love you the most when you tease me about kissing girls someday.  I love that Kathleen is your girlfriend because “she knows a lot about patterns and fiber foods.” I love you the most when you use your good manners.</em></p> <p align="justify"><em>I guess I just love you the most.</em></p> <p align="justify"><em>Happy, happy 5th birthday, Sam!  Mama and Daddy love you so much!</em></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-29767762286153470572011-04-14T15:21:00.001-04:002011-04-14T15:21:49.870-04:00Our First Class Party<p align="justify">Sam treated his 4K class to cupcakes and juice boxes this afternoon to celebrate his 5th birthday next week.  It was so exciting for me to be “Sam’s Mom” for the afternoon and get to see him in action!</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJH6ZAHLI/AAAAAAAACW0/UyRpeeUaN-E/s1600-h/DSC_0223%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0223" border="0" alt="DSC_0223" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJIRbGzjI/AAAAAAAACW4/mNEUj_-lcbQ/DSC_0223_thumb%5B3%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a>   <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJJknajJI/AAAAAAAACW8/FbK4ERqnoUk/s1600-h/DSC_0226%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0226" border="0" alt="DSC_0226" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJJ6gZo1I/AAAAAAAACXA/0e1_f8gpos4/DSC_0226_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJLGBS3OI/AAAAAAAACXE/h6MxK0W3vPs/s1600-h/DSC_0232%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0232" border="0" alt="DSC_0232" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJLsDYEdI/AAAAAAAACXI/-6ShSPz32R8/DSC_0232_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a>   <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJM8S79JI/AAAAAAAACXM/qQA8JBmMqEE/s1600-h/DSC_0240%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0240" border="0" alt="DSC_0240" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJNfFhjeI/AAAAAAAACXQ/1vEB2n_4DrQ/DSC_0240_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJPJXPdUI/AAAAAAAACXU/2pkEnVad2K8/s1600-h/DSC_0243%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0243" border="0" alt="DSC_0243" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJPe7kwBI/AAAAAAAACXY/41NPoclUZnM/DSC_0243_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a>   <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJQgr8V4I/AAAAAAAACXc/5IvMEGL2M-g/s1600-h/DSC_0246%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0246" border="0" alt="DSC_0246" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJRDvsOgI/AAAAAAAACXg/l5GUhxgOzqQ/DSC_0246_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="320" height="219" /></a></p> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJSYXLj0I/AAAAAAAACXk/8AuBc9vCcWM/s1600-h/DSC_0247%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0247" border="0" alt="DSC_0247" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TadJTJwE2GI/AAAAAAAACXo/S5BrysGT8hY/DSC_0247_thumb%5B3%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="655" height="445" /></a> <p align="justify">So, here’s to Sam’s first class party and to many, many more to come!!</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-63771316765089988132011-02-21T16:10:00.001-05:002011-02-21T16:10:16.270-05:00Why NOT me?<p>I have probably talked about it here before, but I am not nor have I ever been a “Why me?” sort of person.  I just don’t have that feeling in my heart.  If I had the energy right now, I’d scan a comic strip that I clipped in high school to share with you.  It’s one of those B.C. comic strips with one of the characters looking up asking “Why me?” and God (or whomever) replying “Why not you?”  And that is just simply how I choose to live my life.  </p> <p>Even on a day like today.  A disappointing, heartbreaking day.</p> <p>I had surgery this morning to retrieve eggs for another IVF.  The morning went well.  I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to the anesthesia!  I like a good 20 minute nap and my hopes were that I would wake up and that stupid knot would be gone from my back.  It was!  But, when I woke up, I also learned that they were only able to retrieve two eggs.  That was not good news!  So when the nurse called a few hours later, I could only laugh a little when she regrettfully informed me that those two eggs didn’t fertilize.</p> <p>So, folks, the train stops there. I won’t start injections and medications tomorrow like I expected.  I’m left exhausted and mildly crampy.  I did however get to drink a Coke!  Yay!  Didn’t think I’d have another Coke for a long time.</p> <p>I’m sad, of course, but I know that there must be a purpose.</p> <p>My heart is breaking for my husband, and for my son, and for my family. </p> <p>Right now, I just want to love my husband and cuddle my son more tightly than ever. And sleep.  And cry a little. And as soon as I get off the painkillers, have a mojito.</p> <p>Thank you for all the prayers that have lifted us up today.  I have felt the hugs across all the miles!  I have had my friends with me all day through texts!  And, when I have answers, you’ll have them.</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-62495842130292483452011-02-20T20:18:00.001-05:002011-02-20T20:18:28.773-05:00Becoming the Mother I Want to Be Part 3<p align="justify"><a href="http://brightfishfamily.blogspot.com/2011/02/becoming-mother-i-want-to-be-part-1.html">Part 1  is here.</a></p> <p align="justify"><a href="http://brightfishfamily.blogspot.com/2011/02/becoming-mother-i-want-to-be-part-2.html">Part 2 is here.</a></p> <p align="justify">So, I guess the kind of mother I want to be is more about quantity than quality.  I’m perfectly happy with the quality of myself as a mother.  Hopefully, this will be the year that we add to our family.  Sam wants a baby and we don’t want the burden of our old age to fall on Sam’s shoulders.  And of course there are other reasons, too.  One being, I’ve always dreamed of being the mother of a whole gang of boys!</p> <p align="justify">So we find ourselves attempting another IVF cycle. </p> <p align="justify">Tomorrow actually.  </p> <p align="justify">Just to catch you up to speed and to document the process for myself, since February 9th, I have given myself 37 injections of three different medications in my belly and endured one shot in the hip to trigger the magic for tomorrow.  Scott and I have both been on an antibiotic since then as well.  I have had my blood drawn 7 times and have had 7 internal ultrasounds. Yes, friends, internal. I’ve become very familiar with all those eggs growing in my lower belly.  Sam even got to see them all!  He’s pretty excited.</p> <p align="justify">So, hopefully, tomorrow will be a very fruitful day!</p> <p align="justify">Emotionally, I’ve only had one bad day.  Friday I was just weary.  </p> <p align="justify">Weary from all the shots. </p> <p align="justify">Weary from the daily ultrasounds and blood draws. </p> <p align="justify">Weary that many of the other women going through this cycle were a few days ahead of me and that my eggs were taking their own sweet time.  </p> <p align="justify">I found out the next day, though, that my doctor was intentionally making me go slow.  With Sam’s IVF, I developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I was carrying two grapfruits around!  So, we’re taking it slow. Whew!  </p> <p align="justify">I got the good news Saturday afternoon that I could go ahead and take the trigger shot Saturday night.  The trigger shot is what tells the follicles to loosen up so that on Monday morning, we can retrieve the eggs.  Yippy!  It was so good to finally know exactly which day I’d be heading into surgery!</p> <p align="justify">So here I am, Sunday night.  I’ve been trying to take it easy today.  My lower belly feels huge and I’m a little uncomfortable but nothing like last time.  We’ll head into surgery tomorrow around 9.  I’ll be put under for about 20 minutes then I get to head home and park myself on the couch for the rest of the day!</p> <p align="justify">It has been a long journey already and we’re not nearly done.  I’ll keep you updated from here on out so that you can take this journey with me.  Don’t worry, I’ll be keeping all the injections to myself! You should be thankful.  The next 12 weeks or so will (hopefully) bring twice daily injections to my hips.  Oh, yay.</p> <p align="justify">All this, though, is totally worth it if it helps me become the mother I want to be!</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-38864309202521574192011-02-19T20:42:00.001-05:002011-02-19T20:42:40.882-05:00Becoming the Mother I Want to Be Part 2<p align="justify"><a href="http://brightfishfamily.blogspot.com/2011/02/becoming-mother-i-want-to-be-part-1.html">You can find Part 1 here.</a></p> <p align="justify">So, exactly what kind of mom do I want to be this year?  First, let me give you a little history, OUR story.  I’ll try to be brief. </p> <p align="justify">Scott and I met and fell in love our freshman year of college.  We dated for 5 years and even moved to Chicago before ever getting married.  A good friend passed on the “be married a few year before starting a family” advice and we did just that.  So after about 5 years, while living in Kansas, we started trying to have a baby.  My two best friends and I started at the same time.  Kinda like one of those high school girl pacts you hear about.  Not really.</p> <p align="justify">Anyway, five years and 3 (possibly 4) miscarriages later, we finally sought help for infertility.  Our first IVF (in-vitro fertilization) gave us Sam.  Remember his first picture?</p> <p align="justify"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TWBxhghSstI/AAAAAAAACUI/yTT82vzbL3Y/s1600-h/Sam%27s%20very%20first%20photo%20with%20message_thumb%5B6%5D%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Sam's very first photo with message_thumb[6]" border="0" alt="Sam's very first photo with message_thumb[6]" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TWBxiDYxYhI/AAAAAAAACUM/qenWrk6KHsE/Sam%27s%20very%20first%20photo%20with%20message_thumb%5B6%5D_thumb%5B3%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="400" height="300" /></a></p> <p align="justify">It turns out that getting pregnant is actually really, really hard.  And for us, really expensive!  (As an aside, I will never forget the friends episode where Pheobe’s brother says “Just get drunk!  It worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.” LOL!!)  Oh, if is were that easy!  It is a freakin’ miracle anytime life begins and don’t ever think for a moment that it is anything less.</p> <p align="justify">I would never complain about the five years it took for us to get Sam.  God knew exactly what he was doing and we were incredibly accepting of His will and our journey.  And look what patience brought us!  The most incredible child I could ever imagine!</p> <p align="justify">Fast forward to last fall.  Well, rewind with me for just a moment, then we’ll fast forward to last fall.  When we did IVF 6 years ago,  we retrieved about 18 eggs from my grapefruit sized ovaries (I'm not even kidding!) and about 12 of them fertilized.  Five of those embryos/babies survived to be 5 days old.  On day 5, three embryos were transferred back inside and two were frozen for storage.  (Remember how we started with 18 eggs? Isn’t life fragile?) So, last fall, we thawed our sweet angels out and tried to get pregnant again.  All I could think to pray for was that they survived the thaw.  And they did!  Here they are:</p> <p align="justify"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TWBxjBnn2KI/AAAAAAAACUQ/wLnAma2L2BQ/s1600-h/IMG_1299%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_1299" border="0" alt="IMG_1299" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TWBxj1tIdVI/AAAAAAAACUU/nAbbd08cmyY/IMG_1299_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="320" /></a></p> <p align="justify">We did not, however, get pregnant.  And again, it’s all part of our journey and our faith is unshaken.</p> <p align="justify">More of our story tomorrow…</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-9640029531278426692011-02-18T19:44:00.001-05:002011-02-18T19:44:24.751-05:00Becoming the Mother I Want to Be Part 1<p align="justify">Disclaimer:  No part of this post is in reference to my husband.</p> <p align="justify">If there is one part of my life where I am completely confident, it is my role as Sam’s mother.  I thank God every day for trusting me to raise his special angel.  I feel blessed beyond words and I truly believe that though I am not perfect, <em>I am the perfect mother for Sam.</em></p> <p align="justify">No one else knows my child like I do.</p> <p align="justify">No one else knows how to be his mother.</p> <p align="justify">No one else could have raised Sam to become the exceptionally cool kid that he is.</p> <p align="justify">I never have to worry about being judged for how I raise my child because there is not one fiber of my being that is the least bit concerned about what others think.  God gave Sam to me and I never doubt God.  (Well, I did once.  It is too hard to attend a funeral for an enfant without doubting him. But I got over it.) And though I clearly do not need the extra vote of confidence, my mother (the best mom in the world) makes me feel like I am the best mom in the world.</p> <p align="justify">So, what kind of mother do I want to become?  More on that tomorrow.</p> <p align="justify">Meanwhile, here are a few photos from our recent trip to the state museum.  Just because…</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SRFRb6tI/AAAAAAAACTQ/Q68vnkiKxGA/s1600-h/DSC_0013%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0013" border="0" alt="DSC_0013" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY9f1ZSY2g0PEA_OM7Kz3vVjGNEPVIjM8YxFdTKXeH26JqZ3iAgymOsmlw0IDxSJJKQjiXyK_l6EHetgzFiiDwrregMj5yjoAaTEWoiAK4lCl0KRMIH6BqJLhJyvUv7NKg6JytKZ7WNqU/?imgmax=800" width="420" height="285" /></a><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SSo373XI/AAAAAAAACTY/5VMEC6mpeqc/s1600-h/DSC_0014%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0014" border="0" alt="DSC_0014" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8STPzCbKI/AAAAAAAACTc/DsDTizgihtU/DSC_0014_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="285" /></a><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SUGqJa8I/AAAAAAAACTg/v46ziKgYpIw/s1600-h/DSC_0016%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0016" border="0" alt="DSC_0016" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SUVtQIOI/AAAAAAAACTk/siP0Lxu_YT4/DSC_0016_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="285" /></a><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SVrWztBI/AAAAAAAACTo/5sR9zFI_FL8/s1600-h/DSC_0018%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0018" border="0" alt="DSC_0018" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SWBoweAI/AAAAAAAACTs/QZiv_rXHaGk/DSC_0018_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="285" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SXb8ZEKI/AAAAAAAACTw/flZTU7rXx70/s1600-h/DSC_0020%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0020" border="0" alt="DSC_0020" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SXu7Tt2I/AAAAAAAACT0/yBIWdYDNRNw/DSC_0020_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="285" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SYRzSAKI/AAAAAAAACT4/0No-hsTQGUY/s1600-h/DSC_0032%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0032" border="0" alt="DSC_0032" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SYiVna7I/AAAAAAAACT8/da4NiTTES8c/DSC_0032_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="285" height="420" /></a><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SZizKWXI/AAAAAAAACUA/R3jeqh8vQaI/s1600-h/DSC_0033%5B9%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0033" border="0" alt="DSC_0033" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TV8SaGdyeZI/AAAAAAAACUE/OfduTZGI9es/DSC_0033_thumb%5B6%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="420" height="286" /></a></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-8103860225222151812011-02-07T07:00:00.000-05:002011-02-07T07:00:14.363-05:00Totally Worth It!<p>Three tickets…..$66</p> <p>Cotton Candy with hat…..$12</p> <p>Popcorn…..$7</p> <p>Chocolate Magic Snow Shake…$10</p> <p>S’more on a Stick…..$5</p> <p>Coke…..$2.50</p> <p align="justify">Taking my boys to the circus for the first time in both their lives…..Yep! Priceless!</p> <p align="justify">We had a fabulous time at the circus.  Sam loved the trains they would ride around that stage and Scott and I thought the 7 motorcycles in the cage thingy were the coolest thing ever!</p> <p align="justify">Here’s a slideshow of some of my favorite shots:</p> <p align="center"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="600" height="400" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&noautoplay=1&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2FBrightfish6%2Falbumid%2F5570757217290248801%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCLf46PKgndiPogE%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></p> <p align="justify">Afterwards, I tried to get a picture for Sam’s Valentines and this is what he gave me:</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU9VUervdQI/AAAAAAAACS8/Y0T9GIbcerA/s1600-h/Circus%20Feb%202011%20sams%20collage%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Circus Feb 2011 sams collage" border="0" alt="Circus Feb 2011 sams collage" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU9VVIQqfuI/AAAAAAAACTA/TNkLzU29qyk/Circus%20Feb%202011%20sams%20collage_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="477" /></a></p> <p align="justify">I can’t complain!</p> <p align="justify">Sam was so filled up with sugar from today that he didn’t eat any super.  Luckily, he passed out right at bedtime!</p> <p align="justify">Soooo worth it!</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-29652845089698847302011-02-06T17:10:00.001-05:002011-02-06T17:10:06.509-05:00Just a Taste<p>Can’t wait to tell you about all the fun we had today!  I’ll type during the Superbowl tonight, but for now, just a taste!</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cKqc80RI/AAAAAAAACQc/CAmTqf81WRE/s1600-h/DSC_0736%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0736" border="0" alt="DSC_0736" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cL-B6cOI/AAAAAAAACQg/3oBepLoaFdc/DSC_0736_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="339" height="500" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cM0rzOtI/AAAAAAAACQk/rliIdhMOzAo/s1600-h/DSC_0741%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0741" border="0" alt="DSC_0741" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cNpFeWhI/AAAAAAAACQo/itLMVik-0gE/DSC_0741_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="339" height="500" /></a><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cOgtGSoI/AAAAAAAACQs/wagAwFnV6-I/s1600-h/DSC_0768%5B5%5D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_0768" border="0" alt="DSC_0768" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TU8cPAw72jI/AAAAAAAACQw/zQ9N6T9kIXs/DSC_0768_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="339" height="500" /></a></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-53818301767648701882011-01-13T14:23:00.001-05:002011-01-13T14:23:11.196-05:002. Becoming the Wife I Want to Be<p align="justify">I don’t think Scott would complain about me as a wife, but I put way more energy into being a mom than being a wife, and I’m just not satisfied with that anymore.</p> <p align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUgSOsYkmp_9l_UoFAaPUkWTye4_xE86ICN3kGVAIclgegbIuXNdqAgDUDVs9DKFZ4cQnYOA2d-936BQJ-4hus64KwBAwWjXxzPrNNDMGi56Fgn2bJRrF5igPV4xZESdFZuHMH_JZVWd4/s1600-h/shu0319l5.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto" title="shu0319l" border="0" alt="shu0319l" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9REoNmVWI/AAAAAAAACPg/fjMKqvURVb8/shu0319l_thumb3.jpg?imgmax=800" width="349" height="280" /></a></p> <p align="justify">Many, many moons ago, when Scott and I were dating (1992-1997) and early in our marriage before Sam came along (1997-2006), I was a pretty good other half.  I spent lots of time being creative with gifts and taking extra special care of my honey (i.e. LOTS of back scratching).  But now that I’m a mama, Scott’s lucky if I even remember special occasions, let alone come up with a good gift idea!  The best I can come up with is one of those long handled back scratchers!!!  It’s funny to me that he now comes up with the most thoughtful presents and that he’s the romantic one in this relationship.  My slightly competitive side will be seeking to change that this year!</p> <p align="justify">  <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RFBlkHZI/AAAAAAAACPk/jVkf1GIScKE/s1600-h/97815629292996.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto" title="9781562929299" border="0" alt="9781562929299" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RFy5-ayI/AAAAAAAACPo/C9hm41wN87M/9781562929299_thumb4.jpg?imgmax=800" width="351" height="264" /></a></p> <p align="justify">God knows I love my son more than my next breathe, but I most certainly want my husband to feel every bit as loved.  In fact, my goal this year will be to make him feel as loved as I feel everyday.  For him to know how proud I am of all that he does and for what he brings to our family.</p> <p align="justify">So, for Valentine’s day, I’m torn between two ideas:</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RGBIjRoI/AAAAAAAACPs/3QoT5Rh8z8A/s1600-h/368240838v2147483647_480x480_Front_C%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px" title="368240838v2147483647_480x480_Front_Color-Natural" border="0" alt="368240838v2147483647_480x480_Front_Color-Natural" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RGle4LwI/AAAAAAAACPw/5pbcA19poS0/368240838v2147483647_480x480_Front_C.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="260" /></a> <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RHf7m2YI/AAAAAAAACP0/Q5BVSOmNmSg/s1600-h/ptr0166l3.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px" title="ptr0166l" border="0" alt="ptr0166l" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS9RHkyP8CI/AAAAAAAACP4/DWtAcbETHKQ/ptr0166l_thumb1.jpg?imgmax=800" width="248" height="260" /></a> </p> <p align="justify">What do you think? </p> <p align="justify">Yeah, I’m a little rusty. Well, at least I have a while to keep thinking.</p> <p align="justify">Coming soon: 3.  Becoming the Mother I Want to Be </p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-44676214669295165592011-01-12T09:07:00.001-05:002011-01-12T09:12:10.863-05:00Frozen<p>Sunday afternoon, as the temperature was dropping fast and we were all getting ready for this snow and ice storm that has stopped us in our tracks, I saw him.  Just before I crossed the river, I happened to look over and saw a man sitting alone on a rock close to the riverbank.  I thought about him the rest of the day and hated myself just a little for not knowing how to help him.  I tried to reassure myself that surely he would be heading to shelter soon.  It was too cold to be out there.  Didn’t he know, couldn’t he tell that a big storm was coming?!  A million questions ran through my head the rest of the day about those who need help and who have no homes or shelters to protect them.  </p> <p>Guilt over not helping him, and not even knowing how to help him continued to haunt me.  But eventually I forgot about him and busied myself with getting our own warm, comfortable home ready.</p> <p>Until today.</p> <p>Sam and I took Scott to his office this morning and just as we were coming off the bridge, I happened to look over and see the man sitting there…exactly as he had been three days ago.  It was unmistakably the same man, in the same position, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt and worry. Sam and I drove to the police department to report that there was possibly a man frozen to death down by the river.  Sam and I talked a lot about it and he was sad for the man, too.  Rather than drive home to wait for a call that may never come, we drove back to the river and got there at about the same time as the police officer.  I pulled up behind his car and watched him walk all the way over to the man.  </p> <p>You cannot understand the depths of my relief when the man looked up at the police officer.  My very first thought was a prayer to God for thanks that I didn’t kill the man by leaving him on Sunday and then I asked for forgiveness for so many things.</p> <p>I waited for the officer to return to his car.  He told me that the man was fine.  This was just his favorite spot to sit so he gets up early to claim it.  </p> <p>Whether that is true or not, all I know is that he is alive.  And that I will forever be changed.  Now, what to do about it. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS22tqKfENI/AAAAAAAACPU/zzKWroI6wJk/s1600-h/352930205_c7d28c5074%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px" title="352930205_c7d28c5074" border="0" alt="352930205_c7d28c5074" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TS22uSTdLlI/AAAAAAAACPY/2-6cyaM3D1k/352930205_c7d28c5074_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="459" /></a> (Disclaimer: I sure wish I could claim this picture, but I found it on Flickr!)</p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-82497578998347071402011-01-11T08:22:00.001-05:002011-01-11T08:22:25.203-05:001. Becoming the Woman I Want to Be<p align="justify">I am NOT a dieter.  I have successfully lost weight only two times in my life.  One, I was pregnant and wanted nothing sweet.  Two, the summer I took ADD medication I wanted nothing to eat. Oh, how I loved both diets!  Lost about 25 pounds both times…and gained it right back and then some.  </p> <p align="justify">As far as any other diet, I just can’t.  My ADD brain will not support it.  I could make a list in the morning of five foods I will not eat and sometime during lunchtime I’ll look down and realize I’m eating three of those foods.  Seriously. I’ve tried it.  Me and diets just don’t work well together.</p> <p align="justify">So, my goal this year is twofold—a short and long-term goal.  </p> <p align="justify">I do have a short-term goal of losing about 15 more pounds by March 9th.  Scott and I are going to Italy and I need to make some room in my clothes for all the scrumptious food and parmesan cheese I’ll be savoring.    I’ve already lost about 7 pounds but the next two months will be difficult.  I’ll be taking lots of hormones which keep my weight up and I’ll be struggling everyday to not drink a Coke.  (BTW, 4 of those pounds were lost over 4 days when Sam and I both had an appetite killing virus and I can’t explain the other 3 pounds!)</p> <p align="justify">And finally, I am simply sick of worrying about it.  I will not let the thoughts consume me.  I will not diet.  Ever.  I will, however, work to make some important lifestyle changes over the year…mainly cutting down sugar.  And when the weather gets warm, we will get back to walking because that’s really the only exercise I enjoy.  </p> <p align="justify">You see, about about 8 years ago, Scott and I met Joe, our hairdresser.  And meeting him changed my life.  I no longer worry about my hair.  I have not once walked in and said “I want ___.”  I simply walk in and let Joe do whatever he wants.  I trust him.  And not once have I been disappointed.  I am at peace with my hair.  Joe has taken one aspect of my life off of my plate so that I no longer have to concern myself with changing my hair or looking for the next best thing.</p> <p align="justify">That peace, or acceptance, is exactly what I will be searching for this year in regards to my body and weight.  I want to be satisfied with myself.</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TSxZjXAeQfI/AAAAAAAACPI/0yUM9BrI_Fs/s1600-h/nodieting3.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px" title="no-dieting" border="0" alt="no-dieting" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TSxZj22NsCI/AAAAAAAACPM/smATNLAdclU/nodieting_thumb1.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="246" /></a> </p> <p align="justify">Coming soon: 2. Becoming the Wife I Want to Be</p> <p align="justify">UPDATE:  It turns out that May 6 is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_No_Diet_Day">International No Diet Day</a>.  Ha!  Seems women all around the world are sick of dieting, too!  There’s even a symbol:</p> <p align="justify"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_No_Diet_Day"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto" title="370px-Blue_ribbon.svg" border="0" alt="370px-Blue_ribbon.svg" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TSxZkM3gZhI/AAAAAAAACPQ/ySR1FxBcrh8/370pxBlue_ribbon.svg4.png?imgmax=800" width="168" height="260" /></a></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-54926470160261635612011-01-10T12:58:00.001-05:002011-01-10T12:58:52.292-05:00Viva la Snow!!<p align="justify">We are LOVING being snuggled together at home today!  Daddy has already played outside with Sam, beating the freezing rain, and we have already enjoyed our snow cream!  Thank goodness that this time, we were home and had all the right snow gear! </p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStItWQGeYI/AAAAAAAACOI/YO5_gdaMRSA/s1600-h/DSC_0247%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0247" border="0" alt="DSC_0247" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIuOYNzuI/AAAAAAAACOM/z9YFdMmfpl8/DSC_0247_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="445" /></a> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIvIX6k2I/AAAAAAAACOQ/-hURgR5qN6c/s1600-h/DSC_0267%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0267" border="0" alt="DSC_0267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6oFt27wNZE5maRCDZjXfbNhfjF8dSVj9RsZxhWX0kNRvTcCIZNC7eZBHIFYKSjhgQBjby-vHbsE1fewkTKQunaPef4paoQ90F-ZGsveCchCjqIsv4lGmfAa4F4F7_9kpa3wqWLSgBWB4/?imgmax=800" width="660" height="446" /></a> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIwUKtY8I/AAAAAAAACOY/LI1uDRxfimY/s1600-h/DSC_0280%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0280" border="0" alt="DSC_0280" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIxc1rOSI/AAAAAAAACOc/BN5uz-hJpQQ/DSC_0280_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="445" /></a> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIx7dtQFI/AAAAAAAACOg/pcY56XKGfS4/s1600-h/DSC_0281%5B4%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0281" border="0" alt="DSC_0281" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIyvM_OUI/AAAAAAAACOk/wIKqk801Zb8/DSC_0281_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="445" /></a> </p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p align="justify">Now, the only question that remains is  will we have another snow day tomorrow???  We say, bring it on!</p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIzJ8deUI/AAAAAAAACOo/PZ6pRpdqruY/s1600-h/DSC_0223%20cropped%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0223 cropped" border="0" alt="DSC_0223 cropped" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStIziCJrCI/AAAAAAAACOs/akaPntsFIAM/DSC_0223%20cropped_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="180" /></a> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI0GKU54I/AAAAAAAACOw/hCKYXVBFIRg/s1600-h/DSC_0232%20cropped%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0232 cropped" border="0" alt="DSC_0232 cropped" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI0_CTF4I/AAAAAAAACO0/HUT0ZD9DVbg/DSC_0232%20cropped_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="179" /></a> <a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI1QYH7DI/AAAAAAAACO4/pLSbBDi8H_U/s1600-h/DSC_0238%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0238" border="0" alt="DSC_0238" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI1nb_sUI/AAAAAAAACO8/E55uuQV06UQ/DSC_0238_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="179" /></a> <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI2VbW35I/AAAAAAAACPA/lVHCP3umWN0/s1600-h/DSC_0258%20cropped%5B3%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0258 cropped" border="0" alt="DSC_0258 cropped" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TStI2_NqICI/AAAAAAAACPE/t1yBXcPfUNk/DSC_0258%20cropped_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="260" height="179" /></a></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501468593643378091.post-26130047473200630572011-01-05T21:19:00.001-05:002011-01-05T21:19:40.528-05:00Wednesdays are for Mama!<p>I just finished reading to Sam and bless his heart he always falls asleep during the last book.  But the first book we read tonight was <em>Llama Llama Misses Mama</em> about a little llama and his first day at school.  Sam and I talk a lot while we read together.  This was tonight’s conversation (oh, how I wish you could hear his sweet voice):</p> <p>Me:  Sam, do you ever miss your mama, like Llama Llama misses his mama?</p> <p>Sam: No.</p> <p>Me: No?  (sniff, sniff)</p> <p>Sam: No.</p> <p>Me: Oh…that makes me a little sad.</p> <p>Sam:  You should be happy, not sad.</p> <p>Me:  But I miss you sometimes when I’m at school.</p> <p>Sam: Oh. Well, I do miss you sometimes at Mimi’s house.</p> <p>Me: You do?   (Yay!)</p> <p>Sam: Yes, but I miss you on Wednesdays but not on Fridays.</p> <p>Me:  Hey!  I’ll take that!</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TSUmuRBpxWI/AAAAAAAACNs/cACfCpOmliY/s1600-h/DSC_0197%5B8%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px" title="DSC_0197" border="0" alt="DSC_0197" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_1oZQTwQs9zk/TSUmu7W9MVI/AAAAAAAACNw/9fDDZivI7cE/DSC_0197_thumb%5B11%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="660" height="445" /></a></p> Brightfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04404194248620369669noreply@blogger.com0