Thursday, November 20, 2014

This is Exactly Why I Quit Sleeping in the Nude

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Well! It's about 5 o'clock in the morning and it has already been a long day!

Scott left for Indiana yesterday so Sam and I got to snuggle together in my bed last night. I was thrilled to be able to go to bed very early! I was not so thrilled to be ripped from my slumber at 2:30 by my alarm disarming itself.

I immediately jumped up and grabbed the remote to turn the alarm off because my first thought was that one of the dogs had gotten out of her kennel again. That's happened before when the latch didn't quite catch. But then I realized that the alarm had not actually gone off as if it had detected one of the dogs walking around. Rather, it had actually been beeping as it does when we come home and open the door.

Great. Someone is in the house and I turned the flippin' alarm off. I waited just a second and tried to turn it back on with the remote. Not a chance. The door was still open. I really wasn't sure what to do.

I tiptoed to the top of the stairs and listened for a long time. I heard the slightest little noise. I was convinced someone was in the house. I pictured him standing as still as I was waiting to see what was going to happen. So here I am, standing at the top of the stairs, wondering exactly what I was expecting me and my big 'ole pregnant belly to do. I hesitated to push the silent alarm button on the remote because that would trigger the alarm company calling Scott in Indiana. I can't even imagine how freaked out he'd be waking up to take THAT call! So I tiptoed back to my room, closed and locked both doors and called 911.

The dispatcher asked if I had access to a weapon. I told him I thought I had a golf club close at hand and I guess I could beat the crap out of someone if needed. But I couldn't find it anywhere. The only thing I could find was a marimba bar. I wasn't even about to try to explain this to the dispatcher. I just told him I had something I could use. Then I stood in the middle of my room rolling my eyes at how ridiculous I must look armed with a marimba bar.

An officer showed up very quickly (good to know). I could see a flashlight shining all around the yard. At this point, Sam woke up. I was trying not to alarm him, trying to figure out what to say. Luckily, he didn't seem upset at all when I told him everything was okay and I would tell him what was going on in just a minute. It was also at this point that I realized I could have unleashed the hounds and they would have told me if someone was downstairs or not.

The dispatcher told me that all was clear and I could go downstairs to meet the officer. I let him in and asked him to check around inside. It was then that I realized I was only wearing my tank top and underwear. Oh well. Not really a priority as I led him around the downstairs searching for the intruder.

Of course, there was no intruder. Thank God!!! It turns out the door to the garage, the very door I was sure I had locked,  had somehow opened just a little. The officer and I were confident that no one had opened it and that the house and garage were clear.

So I went back to bed and drifted back to sleep quickly.

Pfft! In my dreams! First of all, try turning my ADD brain off anytime I'm woken up during the night. Secondly, I had not been back in bed ten minutes before I hear Sam whisper "Mom, please get me the wastebasket." Nothing happened and he had no fever. Whew! Perhaps I'll get back to sleep after all!

But once the the excitement was over and I was snuggled back under my blankets, all I could think about was how dirty my house was and what the officer must have been thinking and how I was glad I had quit sleeping naked once Sam was born and how much school work I could probably get done if I got up now...

So, yeah. it's been a long day.