Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Unconditional Love…Just Like a Puppy

When things are good, putting Sam to bed involves snuggling very sweetly for a few minutes as Sam drifts quietly off towards the Land of Nod.  However, for the last few weeks, things have not been good.  It has been a challenge getting him to sleep.  He has been wiggly beyond words.  He whines about going to bed, complains about not getting to play with his trains, and basically becomes a brat.  I’ve tried very hard to be consistent and persistent about the rule which is “If you want  Mama to stay in here, then you must be still and go to sleep.”  Anyone who knows me will tell you that I absolutely hate (and have always hated) having Sam cry himself to sleep which is why it is really hard for me to figure out how to solve this new problem.

I’ve started gathering materials in preparation for a sticker chart and a reward system.  This kind of thing works well with Sam.  We got him potty trained so quickly this way and have used it as needed for other incentives.  So, starting tomorrow, I’ll have that system in place and feel hopeful.  If only I was ready with the stickers tonight…

I absolutely lost my patience with Sam tonight.  I just couldn’t take another minute of his wiggling and his “gentle reminding” that he would rather be playing with his trains than going to bed.  I climbed out of his bed, stood over him and yelled a very long, very familiar explanation of why I was not staying in his room and how I was tired of playing this game…yada, yada, yada.  I told him good-night and left the room.  I HATE losing my patience like that.  I try very hard to avoid doing that and when it happens, I just feel so little and ashamed.  (Just now, right this minute, I had a realization.  Stick with me as I type out my thinking.)  I think it was my sister who told me she had a friend who never cursed because his grandmother told him that cursing was the easy thing to do, that it didn’t take much intelligence to curse.  Or something like that.  She’ll probably comment on this post and tell me exactly how she said it.  I think that’s kind of how I feel when I get mad at Sam.  Like I’m taking the easy way out.  Yelling like I did was the easy thing to do.  I didn’t accomplish anything.  I didn’t feel better and he, bless his heart, certainly didn’t feel better.  It was just simply the easiest thing to do at the time. Anyway, back to the story. So I listened to him cry for about 15 minutes.  When his crying turned from mad to downright sad and pitiful, I returned to him.  After making him remind me of “the rule,” I climbed back into his bed and he very quickly got still and drifted off to sleep…just like old times.  But before falling completely asleep, he whispered the following:

“Mom, I’m so proud of you…I love you…Thank you for coming back and getting in my bed.”

And then he was fast asleep.

That’s right, Sam.  Make me feel worse than I already do. I deserve it.


PETtell said...

What a cute and adorable pet. To show love to your pet why not join and register at PETtell, it's a free social network for pet owners. You'll gonna luv it :D

Jessica said...

She said only stupid people cuss because they're not smart enough to think of a better word. To this day, I can't even get him to slip, lol! With as many tattoos and piercings as he has, it's hilarious to hear him spell cuss words in a conversation (and that's only if he's repeating what someone else said)!!
And by the way, you have unbelievable patience and you should be proud of yourself too!! I love you :)

Jennifer Juniper said...

See, we're different kinds of parents because I think because he settled down and went to bed you taught him that you aren't a push over and enough is enough. I have 3boys though, and they will steamroll me if I get too soft.

I don't spank, but I certainly use my voice. Even though you feel bad, I don't think you did anything wrong. You were being a mom.